The difference between me and you

It's the way you hold yourself, the way that you walk and it's your skin....

I wasn't surprised to hear this sentence come out of my brother's mouth, you see I had only been in Nigeria for a couple of days and I was getting accustomed to the curious stares. In my own country I was a freshy, my accent was different and so were my clothes, thank God, so was my smell.

So the driver had explained it all to my brother, we were clearly different from the rest of our countrymen in many ways but mostly externally.
This idea was reinforced by a visit to the dentist. We were seen within five minutes of entering the building and there was a long queue. My father's connections meant that we were in and out within 30 minutes.

"You don't look Nigerian and you definitely don't sound Nigerian" said the young dentist who's fingers had been delicately probing my mouth for the last five minutes.
He seemed excited yet slightly anxious as he informed me that this was his first time performing a cleaning. He tried to reassure me as he saw my facial expression become more strained. As I grabbed the chair he gabbled on about how important my father, brother and I must be to have been seen so quickly....he seemed nice enough but I have grown so skeptical of people that I half expected him to ask for my number and then a few weeks down the line a call for $500 dollars to be wired over for his sick mother. When did I grow so cynical?

I did feel sweet though having this attention, people stared as we left the building and said goodbye to the dentists. I always try to make sure that whereever I go I show my appreciation, I hate the idea of people seeing me as a snooty person but the fact is that many people here are, give them a little bit of money and they forget that we are all equals.

Nigeria, a country keen on respect obvious in the greetings of the young towards the old lacks major fundamental principals......

It is traditional to dance behind a loved ones coffin and as we paraded Big Mummy in the streets of Mokola, faces approached their windows and doors to watch the scene. The male grandchildren carried her down the street wearing matching waistcoats and shirts swaying to the sound of the talking drum beat. We followed the hearse, We watched her leave the home that she had created together with her husband for the very last time. She was to be buried on top of my grandfather, I couldn't help but think how poetic that was.

Even at the church they wouldn't stop harassing us, the paparazzi kept snapping, I don't know who told them but by the time we reached the open fields where the celebration of life was to continue, the paparazzi were there again, with all the pictures developed.....all of us, my father, mother, sister, brother and I.

The real fun began as they harrassed us to buy the photos, shooing them was out of the question, they were there to make some money from this and they had somehow figured out who had the deepest pockets.

While children are taught to respect their elders, elders don't really think to respect their children. We had servers helping with food but I still found myself attending to people. I had had enough when one man simple said 'excuse me...water' I looked at him in disbelief and probably swallowed a couple of mosquitos as my mouth laid wide open. No 'please', no, 'could you', just 'water' He was sitting at the table with my family so I could tell he was one of my parent's guest nevertheless I did look him up and down and ignored the fool. Dude didn't you know I'm English when it comes to manners. My brother had also heard and expressed his own surprise. Nigerians!! They say that you can't teach a dog new tricks, I'm a proud B even now as an au pair, and I don't allow anyone to look down at me even if it is an old dog.


That's the difference between me and you, I will respect the tramp on the street to the chief in the village if they are so deserving. So whoever thinks that they are a God amongst us............. please get rid of my scars from thos frikin mosquito bites. lol!